Hooooooot Pockets!

Jim Gaffigan -

One of my favorite comedians is Jim Gaffigan. I’ve seen 2 comedians live, Jerry Seinfeld and Jim Gaffigan. I loved seeing each one, but, I laughed so hard when we saw Jim Gaffigan I was crying. His jokes are so dry and sarcastic, it’s exactly the kind of humor that cracks me up. It’s very absurd, observational humor. He’s also an incredibly cool guy. After every show he will meet and greet everyone who hangs around to see him. He signs autographs, takes pictures, shakes your hand and is genuinely glad you came to see him perform. He loves to make jokes about how pale he is and when he met Matt he commented on how they must be related. He he also had a great bit of jokes about the nastiness of Hot Pockets – Tons of people brought Hot Pocket boxes to the show for him to sign. He also gets kudos from me for keeping his act pretty clean. He decided when he first started performing that he shouldn't have to use profanity to be funny. It's a pleasant change.Check him out on You Tube.

He’s performing at the Alabama Theater in September, we probably won’t make it to B’ham to see him this time, but he’s worth the trip if you’re there.

A few of Gaffigan’s fun observations:

“"I love the movie previews... you know... Why is it whenever you're watching a movie preview you always feel like you have to comment on it to the person you're with? 'Yeah... I'm not gonna see that movie. I'm gonna wait for that on VIDEO.' I mean when you think about it, it's just a commercial for the movie. You know, you never sit at home watching tv-- "Yeah... I'm not buying that cereal. I don't like cereals with raisins in 'em. ...What's your take on that commercial? Where you goin'?"”

“"You ever walk behind someone walking so slow you have to hold yourself back from stabbing them? '...You better move it along, huh. My walker has wheels for a reason." You ever walk next to that stranger who wants to walk the same speed as you? '...Get away from me... what are we--on a date here? I don't even know you.' Sometimes I find myself being a weirdo... you ever been walking next to some stranger and for no reason at all you decide that if you beat them to the corner, you'll be a millionaire? They're like, 'whatever'. HAHA! I get to press the walk button for you! ... You think those walk buttons do anything? I think some guy at the government was like, 'What can we give the morons to press? How bout a button!?' You always press 'em, you're like, '...maybe I didn't press it hard enough...' Then someone will come up and be like, 'Did you press it?' --'Yeah, I pressed it.' They're like, 'Why don't you press it again?'--'You're like, 'Yeah I'll press it again.' Then at that point it changes and you're like, 'I did that. I changed the traffic in the city... I have a lot of power.' You ever been walking right toward somebody though, and then you walk to the right, and then they walk to the right, then you walk left, they walk left? You know how there's like that awkward moment? ...Just lean forward and kiss 'em. '....looked like you wanted it from my angle.' Then when they're walking away just hit 'em on the butt. (Pshhh) 'You'll be back! You'll be back for some of that loving.''”

“I only dated one asian girl, but she was very asian, she was a panda.”

“There is the vegetarian Hot Pocket for those of us who don't want to eat meat, but would still like diarrhea.”

“They recently invented the breakfast hot pocket, FINALLY. I can’t think of a better way to start the day; Good morning... you’re about to call in sick.”